There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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