Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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