Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize