its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
it glows. i had to have it.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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