dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
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Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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