I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize