i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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