this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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