My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
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