Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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