guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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