hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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