Your face is a jimmy john
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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