My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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