I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
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Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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