Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
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we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
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Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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