Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
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My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
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He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize