Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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