The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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