His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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