Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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