i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
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she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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