question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize