Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
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