i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize