he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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