Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize