i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
tell me about the eggs
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