I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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