Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize