sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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