i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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