why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize