remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
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Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
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