That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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