i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
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We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
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Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize