I'm gonna have a badass scar
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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