I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
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she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
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Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
When did angry sex become our thing?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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