No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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