I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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