And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize