Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize