i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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