I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Houston, we have a squirter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
This is my gift to your gina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
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