Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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