I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Too much gin, very little bucket
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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