im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Dicks are not precious.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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