a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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