I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize