It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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